The Los Angeles Archdiocesan Religious Education Congress

[ADDENDUM as of 7/8/06: Yes, the Archdiocesan Web Guy moved all the pictures, didn't he. So, now all my snarky comments have no referent. It's a hard life. Maybe Someone down at 555 has a guilty conscience. D'ya think?]

Sorry, it was last week. All three days of it. And you missed it. Haugen and Haas, Rollheiser and Reese, and the other seven thousand speakers, they've all folded their tents and stolen away until next year. If it's any consolation, I missed it, too. I had a prior engagement. (And a very nice nap it was, too.)

At least the pictures are up. See what you missed:

Inspiring hymns, psalms, sacred canticles, flams, paradiddles, and rimshots.

Hot cantor babes.

Visual aids for those unsure which direction is "up".

A re-enactment of that wonderful scene in "The Music Man" in which the ladies of River City interpret "Ode to a Grecian Urn" in dance. It doesn't say which one took Hermione Gingold's role.

Just a few of the monstrous regiment of girl altar boys.

Alas, Miss Manners was not on the list of featured speakers this year.

And more than a few imponderables:

Not, one hopes, a political salute. But. . .what?

Fly casting demonstration? Dusting the ceiling? Surely, she's not preparing to swing that thing around and belt the. . .no, surely not. But whatever is she up to?

Uuhhhh. . . .

I'm going to assume this had nothing to do with human sacrifice. I mean, seriously. Not even in the most rubric-free environment. Yes, the other chorines do look pretty upset. But no, she's probably just had a long, hard day of doing liturgy. That takes it out of anyone.

If you'd kept up your subscription to The Tidings you would've known all about this in advance and you wouldn't now be sitting there lamenting a wasted weekend.