The Third Party Blues

Sunday breakfast and the Sunday papers are two of the great joys in life. Today's Times brings us a full-page article on the woes of the once-mighty Prohibition Party which, if it had its way, would do away with one of the other joys of life, a cold beer. These folks were on the ballot in California not so very long ago; they were still one of the choices when I cast my first vote. These days their membership doesn't seem to run into four figures. Yet they can still manage a party split. One of their two candidates has this to say:

The Rev. Gene Amondson is the candidate for the breakaway party. He's an artist from Vashon Island, Wash., who travels the country reenacting the fiery antidrinking sermons of the late evangelist Billy Sunday.

Amondson, 60, describes himself as a "redneck, Bible-thumping preacher," with a simple message: Drinking alcohol is stupid.

"Alcohol has no taste at all; it's just a burning sensation," he said. "You don't drink to have a good time; you drink to forget a bad time."

And he dismisses the story of Jesus turning water into wine.

"If Jesus turned water into alcohol he wasn't very bright about alcohol was he?" he said. "I think it was grape juice."

Cheers.